Neville's Diary of Insanity
by Adine Finnigan
Summary: Neville goes crazy and runs away one night and Harry and the others find his diary. PG-13 for his little thoughts. Lots of...murderish thoughts. Not really for children.


Neville's Diary of Insanity   
  
  
  
  
  
Ron sighed as he picked through all of Neville's things. They were all over the place, and Harry, Ron, Dean and Seamus were picking them up. Neville was gone. They'd woken up only that morning to find Neville gone.  
"Hey, look," Harry said suddenly, picking up something among the pile of robes near the door. "Here's something."  
He held it up and flipped through it. It was a diary.  
Neville's diary.  
"Is there anything in it?" Seamus asked, walking over with the others. "Who's is it anyway?"  
"Neville's," said Harry quietly. He looked at the others. "Should we...?"  
"I don't see why not," Dean said. "He isn't here."  
Harry sighed, like Ron had and flipped to the first page and started to read out loud:   
  
  
  
"Dear Diary,  
  
Today I started to realize something: girls don't like me, I'm stupid and I am slowly going insane. Yes, it is true, I do believe. I was sitting in Potions today and something...something came over me. I haven't told anyone, but I had...thoughts. Thoughts that would land me in some mental institute.  
KILL THEM ALL! KILL ALL MUGGLES! KILL ALL MUDBLOODS!  
See? See? He's been here. He puts thoughts in my mind!  
KILL THEM! KILL NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM! KILL TREVOR!  
He wants to kill Trevor...oh, someone help...help...  
YEAH, GO CRYIN' TO YOUR MOM! ONLY, SHE'S AS MENTAL AS YOU!  
I'm not mental...and that hurt. Goodbye, Diary."  
  
  
"Whoa," Dean said. "He was nuts."  
"There's more," Harry said, flipping to another page.  
  
  
  
"Dear Diary,  
  
He's been here for over a week now. I am sorry my entries have been so late, but he keeps making me do things. He makes me scared...he scares me...I don't like him. He says he's only me and that I am very mental indeed. I believe him, too.  
YOU BETTER, LONGBOTTOM, IF YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU.  
I'm standing over Seamus's bed right now. I can see him living now, see him breathing...he doesn't like it.  
YOU'RE RIGHT...I DON'T LIKE IT.  
Oh...oh, please...someone...he's walking...I'm sitting on Seamus's bed. I have a knife...oh, stop! I don't want to!  
YOU ARE GOING TO.  
Please. He's a friend.  
THEN HARRY IS OUR TARGET.  
Not Harry! Goodbye, Diary, he  
YEAH, GOODBYE DIARY. LIKE IT CAN RESPOND."  
  
  
Harry looked up, a horrified look across his face.  
"'I'm standing over Seamus's bed right now. I can see him living now, see him breathing...' He was sitting on my bed?" Seamus said, horrified as the rest of them.  
"Is there more?" asked Ron.  
Harry opened the diary. "Third page.  
  
  
"Dear Diary,  
  
I'm afraid. I don't know why, but I'm starting to get used to it and accept that he's only me. I'm crazy, I know. I am not slowly going insane...I am insane.  
I know it's crazy  
LIKE YOU.  
But he doesn't scare me anymore. Not that much, but there are still times I wake up and feel sick to my stomach. I know I need help  
LOTS AND LOTS OF HELP.  
And I don't know who to turn to. I wanted to tell Harry...I stopped him after Defense Against the Dark Arts today, and told him I wanted to tell him something. He told me he had to do something. Then I knew I would never get to tell him...I'd built up all my courage and then, it was all gone.  
OOOH. YOU LIKE HARRY, THAT'S THE ONLY REASON YOU ALMOST TOLD HIM.  
Stop! Stop saying that! I like Hermione, you know that, I'm sure you do.  
YEAH. I THINK SHE EXPECTED SOMETHING LAST TIME YOU STARTED GOING "HEY, BABY!"  
I'm sorry...you made me!  
YEAH RIGHT. LIKE I'D MAKE YOU DO ANYTHING. I THINK KNOWS THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG.  
There is something...I need help...help me..."  
  
  
Harry stopped. "It ends there." He looked down. "I wish I'd listned to Neville there, after class."  
Ron was looking away in space. "Hermione told me...she thought something was wrong with Neville. She told me he wasn't his usual self."  
"Is there anymore?" asked Seamus.  
Harry looked. "Lots. Fourth page, anyone?  
  
  
"Dear Diary,  
  
What is happening? I'm going crazier and crazier...I am sure someone supsected something today in class when I began to cry. I guess they all thought I was scared by the lesson...Defense Against the Dark Arts class.  
YOU WERE CRYING BECAUSE I TOLD YOU SOMETHING.  
You told me...I forget.   
YOU FORGET A LOT.  
I know. Oh, yes, wasn't it: "You are a fat little cry baby who doesn't deserve to live?"  
YEAH. THAT WAS IT.  
I thought so.  
NICE, HUH?  
Not really. I'm scared right now...it's around midnight. I think Harry is still awake. I'm glad he's okay. I'm glad he's awake.  
I'm going to talk to him.  
I'm walking. I'm walking.   
I'm sitting now and he told me to go back to bed. He doesn't want to listen to me. I don't know why.  
I want to talk.  
YOU NEED HELP. YOU NEED TO TALK TO SOMEONE WHO CAN HELP YOU!  
Goodbye, Diary.  
  
  
"Oh...my..." said Harry. He dropped the diary on the floor and it echoed among the silence and stillness of the room. "I remember that...I remember that. I told him to go back to bed and faintly remember him writing something. Weird, huh?"  
No one said anything.  
"Go on."  
  
  
"Dear Diary,  
  
Why am I doing these things? Thinking these things...I told Hermione I liked her today. She blushed. Even though I went with Ginny Weasley to the Yule Ball in my fourth year, Hermione was my first choice. I like her a lot.  
She didn't say anything to this and I don't think she's going to tell Harry or Ron. I don't blame her...it's personal. But I'm not jealous of Harry and Ron, hanging out with Hermione, having such cool adventures.  
I want to do that, too, but   
YOU'RE TOO SCARED. CRY BABY! CRY BABY!  
Stop! STOP IT! Oh, stop!  
HAHAHA. POOR LITTLE WITTLE BITTY NEVILLE.  
Please...you'll make me wake everyone!  
HARRY'S ALREADY AWAKE, I CAN SEE HIM LOOKING AT YOU. "WHAT...WHAT TIME IS IT, NEVILLE?" HE ASKED YOU A QUESTION.  
And I just gave him an answer.  
Goodbye, Diary."  
  
  
"More."  
  
  
"Dear Diary,  
  
As winter comes, I don't know why, but I get excited. It might be because of it's cool and Christmas...I want to run away.  
I'm going to. I'm all alone in the dorm room right now. I'm crying, I guess, because tears are streaking down my face and my throat feels tight.   
Harry just walked in a second ago.  
He asked me if I were okay.  
I think he knows everything...he suspects.  
"I'm all right, Harry. Just a bit sad. I'm okay."  
Poor Harry.  
POOR HARRY MY  
Be quiet you!  
OH, SO YOU'RE GOING TO STAND UP TO ME NOW, ARE YOU? AFTER ALL THIS AND IT GOES THIS FAR, YOU STAND UP NOW?  
Yes. I am sick of you.  
I'M SICK OF YOU, TOO!  
Stop saying things like that. Just...just leave. Can't you leave? Leave me alone?  
IF I WANT TO. I DON'T WANT TO.  
Goodbye, Diary. I'm crying hard now and I find it difficult to write now."  
  
  
"He was crying...I don't remember..." said Harry. "There is more...  
  
  
  
"Dear Diary,  
  
I think...I think I'll run away very soon. Sometime very soon. He's driving me mad. Maybe I can escape him, too.   
It's raining right now and I'm all alone in the dorm. Even though it's early, it's sort of dark in the room. Everyone else is in the common room.  
I'm sitting alone in the dorm.  
It's raining harder now. I'm looking at the kajd fcnv oops. I guess I can't write while I stare away.  
YEAH...YOU CAN'T WRITE AT ALL. YOU CAN'T ESCAPE ME.  
I am trying my best to ignore him. He's back, of course. He never goes away. He woke me up only last night.  
I was shaking after that.  
I wonder if he'll do something to me...  
I WILL. DON'T SLEEP AT NIGHT, NEVILLE. DON'T SLEEP!  
Please stop...I already have a headache.  
YOU'RE JUST SAYING THAT. YOU'RE GOING TO CRY NOW, AREN'T YOU?  
No...  
YOU'RE CRYING RIGHT NOW.   
I'm so scared right now...he's worse than ever...  
RIGHT YOU ARE, LONGBOTTOM. AND I'LL GET EVEN WORSE.  
Why do I have to go insane? I have stop writing now. I'm crying harder than   
KILL THEM ALL! KILL ALL MUGGLES! KILL ALL MUDBLOODS! VOLDEMORT! VOLDEMORT!  
Stop saying that! Get away! I'm scared of you!"  
  
  
"Stops there."  
"Go on..."  
  
  
"Dear Diary,  
  
I cursed a lot today. He made me. He's making me do the worse things, because earlier today, I put a large amount of coins in Hermione's soup. She didn't eat it, but she was grossed out.  
I dipped the coins in mud before placing them in her soup.  
I didn't want to do it. He made me, though. He's making   
STOP! SHUT UP! KILL! KILL! KILL!  
Oh, no! He's been like this  
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!  
Stop! Stop! Stoooooop!  
I think I'll run away tonight. Everyone's in the common room. I'll run away tonight.  
  
  
"Another...  
  
  
"Dear Diary,   
  
Harry, Ron, Seamus and Dean are all asleep right now. I have made sure nearly three times to see if I am right. I just finished checking.  
I'm picking up everything I own. As I write this. Well, I just did. Hold on.  
I just finished throwing things everywhere. It looks horrible...but...I'm sorry, Diary, but this will be my last entry. I'm running away. I'm not even telling where I am going, if this diary falls into someone's hands...  
YOU ARE RUNNING INTO THE WOODS.  
Shut up! I am not, I am not...  
YEAH, RIGHT.  
I'm about to bury this diary under something...my robes. I'm crouching now and and writing...bye, Diary.  
  
  
"That's it," said Harry, flipping through the pages. "That's the last page."  
They were all silent.  
"We never knew," said Seamus. "Never knew."  
"Poor Neville."  
And Harry set the diary back inside Neville's robes and left to go into the common room.  
  
  



End file.
